He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
