"it" just moved
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
