I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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