You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
