Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize