My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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