you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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