he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
