my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
