Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
