This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I skipped work to stalk him.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
