Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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