I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize