a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
