i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I will be naked everywhere
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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