drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize