Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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