All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
