it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
