I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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