drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
