Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
