you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
