i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
