Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
