Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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