Jerry, you need to find god
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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