It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
