Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
