it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
