The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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