im having a threesome with these popsicles
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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