She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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