I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
