Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
