kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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