I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
