well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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