break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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