Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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