i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize