I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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