love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
