He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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