You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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