i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I CAN MOONWALK!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
