please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
