Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize