Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
