dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
