you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize