Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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