No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
