I'm passing your future prison.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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