I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
