There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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