I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize