How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
