omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
