if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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