things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bring money and cleavage
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
