We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
