It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
