How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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