He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
