Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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