do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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