they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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