im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
