I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
