Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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