He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize